Getting involved in controversies is a part and parcel of any celebrity's life, but superstar Shah Rukh Khan says it does affect him personally, though he doesn't let it show in public.
"They all affect me. I am a very educated, sensitive and an extremely private person. So all of them (controversies) extremely sadden, disturb and anger me in the comfort of my house. And what is even more disturbing is that when you go out into the public, you need to behave in a certain way...it is a no win situation," Shah Rukh told IANS in an interview.
The actor says he has not been a very media savvy person and is unaware of what the politically right thing to say is.
"This whole ideology of saying the right thing at the right time and the whole PR activity, I have never done it. I am the most media unsavvy person. I say what I feel and I get into trouble for it," said the 47-year-old.
"I have not learnt to deal with it, but I am a good actor and when I come out in the public I deal with it (controversy). But I don't like it, it is embarrassing, saddening and humiliating," he added.
Though, the actor considers 2012 as a good year as he was a part of legendary filmmaker Yash Chopra's last directorial venture Jab Tak Hai Jaan and his team Kolkata Knight Riders won the Indian Premier League, but at the same time, he often found himself in trouble too. His brawl at Wankhede stadium being at the top of the list.
"It was a good year. Like I said I have beaten up people before when they said wrong things. I am extremely sorry to my children for embarrassing them. But as a father, I would do it all over again, if it happens again. My wife often gets angry when I say all these things honestly," he said.
Elaborating on the Wankhede Stadium controversy after the IPL final last May when he got into an argument with a security guard, the actor admited he made a mistake.
"I thought it (the guard) was wrong and I also thought it was more wrong for me to behave like that. Now I surround myself with more security, so that I get more pushed up in my ivory tower and stop being a normal person. That's the way the world wants to see me, so that's how I will be," he said.
The actor will be a part of Times of India Film Awards (TOIFA), which launched this year. Shah Rukh said awards are still very important to him and he feels extremely proud when he receives one.
"I like awards. I am very childlike when it comes to awards. I get very excited with my kids' awards and medals which they get. We display them," he said.
"When we are surrounded by so much fame and controversies, the thing that keeps you going is that there is recognition in this form. At the end of the year you get happy with the awards. Whenever I get an award, I go and keep it in my children's room. It's like a gift and I get excited," he added.