I have a little secret: Deepika

Mumbai: Pics:Sidhartha Mallya spotted with Deepika again
Sneak Peek: Lafangey Parindey

Deepika Padukone talks about the special man in her life Siddharth Mallya and forgiving ex-boyfriend Ranbir Kapoor.

How happy are you with your career? A] Could be happier B] Happier than I can ever be or C] Happy enough?
Happy enough. I think, professionally, things have never been better. By the end of the year, I will have had five releases. And each film is so different from the other, each character is so different from the other, the kind of directors I have got a chance to work with, just in every way it has all been good.

You are glowing these days. Is it love?
Hmmm, I don't think anyone else can be responsible for your own happiness. For you to be happy, you have to be a happy person from within...

Maybe you are happier than you've ever been, because this is a serious glow.
Let's just say I am in a happy space. When things happen in life, they happen for a good reason. I am happy with whatever has happened in my life personally and professionally, this year. Two things could've happened. I could've allowed myself to let one experience (break-up with Ranbir) shatter and ruin me. And the other was to stand up and get on with my life. I am really glad that I found that inner strength to move past it all. It has made me a much better person today. I am a lot more confident about myself, I am now in touch with my inner self. I am discovering things about me that I didn't know I had. I have started doing things differently. I do different things. I want to explore new things, travel, even my approach to life has changed.

Siddharth Mallya is by your side everywhere these days. What's happening there?
I have reached a stage in my life today where I want to keep my personal life, very, very personal. Speaking from experience, I think it is best that I keep my personal life to myself. And I like it that way. I am happier just keeping it to myself. It is like my little secret.

He is not a secret just because you don't talk about it.
(smiles) Maybe not. But I won't say anything.

Luckily there is no worry to 'meet the parents'. You already know them since your Kingfisher days.
(laughs) I am not saying anything, you are saying this.

People say that you are on the rebound. Comment?
I just want to say that I have moved on in life and am in a much better place, don't you think?

Siddharth is also friends with Katrina (Kaif). Does that bother you, given your history?
He has his friends and I have mine. He can talk to whomever he wants to, that doesn't bother me. You have to realise that not everyone is the same.

Have you come face-to-face with Katrina? Would you greet her if you did?
I have never come across her.

Are you wary about men after your split with Ranbir? Or even less trusting?
No, I can't be like that. When I am in a relationship, I give it my all. I am totally committed and devoted. I am more giving, maybe because I am a Capricorn. I don't expect the same back but somehow in all my relationships, it has been the guy who has strayed. You can ignore something if it happens once, but if it keeps happening, you have to realise that something is wrong. And you have to decide if you will put up with that.

If your guy cheated, would you blame him or the other woman?
I would blame him. Because he was committed to me. He was in a relationship. I wouldn't blame the other woman.

At one time, you and Sonam were rivals, but according to a recent poll (and trade pundits) you have zoomed ahead of her. Is there a sense of vindication?
No. I don't compare myself to anyone. What is happening around, doesn't matter. I have set goals for myself and I want to achieve those. I am very ambitious and very focused. I know what I want,. It's like I have blinders on and I am moving towards it.

Do you have a wishlist of directors?
Yes, I do. Sanjay Leela Bhansali, Adi Chopra and one more but I might be signing a film with him soon.

And actors?
Aamir Khan, Salman Khan and Hrithik Roshan.

You've not received the best comments on your acting, how are you working on that?
I don't agree. I think I am improving with every film. I don't have a film background and I didn't grow up watching films. It was all new for me but if big directors like Pradeep Dada (Sarkar), Ashutosh (Gowariker) and Imtiaz Ali are putting their faith in me, it's because they think I am talented and I can deliver.

Do you think Lafangey Parindey will get you critical appreciation?
Yes, I think it will.

How tough was it to play a blind girl? How did you prepare for the role?
I spent a lot of time with blind children. The one thing I didn't do is watch films where other actors have played blind characters. I wanted to do this differently. Also playing a blind girl is about how the person in front of you is reacting. You react differently to a person who can't see, so we did a lot of workshops and dry rehearsals before we began filming.

Do you see films of your contemporaries?
Yes, I see every film. I think it is important to do so.

Regret not signing any film?
No, I have been very lucky. Whatever film I have refused to be a part of -- for whatever reason -- didn't go on to become a big success. My instincts have been right so far.

You haven't been on a world tour. Ranbir is going on one. Katrina is part of the entourage, why aren't you?
I haven't been asked to join the tour. If I am, I would love to go on it. I love dancing. And while I have performed at stage shows, I haven't been part of a tour and I think it would be fun.

Have you fully forgiven Ranbir?
It is important to forgive. And it is easier to forgive, given that I am not the one with regrets. Everyone knows how I was treated, but then I have moved on and I don't believe in looking back.

Did he really bang on your door one night in Delhi?
(pauses) You will have to ask him to answer that one.

Finally, you see actresses of your age getting their jawline, cheeks, lips etc enhanced. Would you ever go for it?
I am really glad you asked me that, because I think I am the only actress around who hasn't got anything done. And I don't believe in meddling with what nature has given me. Yes, I have my flaws, everyone does, but I know how to get around those. And whatever enhancements actresses have done -- you have to agree -- they have been disasters. You guys keep writing I have got a boob job done. Let me clarify for once and for all, I haven't done anything to my body, and I don't intend to do so ever.