My children's Qs led me to apologize: Shah Rukh Khan (transcript)

My children's Qs led me to apologize: Shah Rukh Khan (transcript)
Barkha Dutt: Shah Rukh, perhaps the one cliche as it were that it could describe this moment is, all wells that ends well, but before we get to the happy part, there's got to be many moments along this rather this bumpy ride, that you probably felt it wasn't going to end too well.

    Shah Rukh Khan: No, this is a joke, use the wrong lyrics of a song! As a joke am saying! All's well that ends well. But, I..I just wanna,... I've never felt things will go wrong. I think that is...ya...I mean I do what I feel like, I behave like I feel like, I say what I feel like and....

    Barkha Dutt:And get into a lot of trouble!

    Shah Rukh Khan: Lot of trouble, I have told you last time. Also I'm a nuisance, I'm a trouble child.

    Barkha Dutt: To whom? Nuisance to yourself? To your family? To your friends? To people?

    Shah Rukh Khan: I'm a nuisance child to my children! You know I..honestly I tell you..I..ahh....the other night, in one of the fights that I got into, I remember.....I dont remember which one now, I have done so many this year!

    Barkha Dutt: You are joking, right?

    Shah Rukh Khan:

    Barkha Dutt: How many can you count?

    Shah Rukh Khan: You know now, I have decided, I have promised myself...

    Barkha Dutt: There's MCA...

    Shah Rukh Khan: And then....with this...

    Barkha Dutt: Shirish Kunder...

    Shah Rukh Khan: Ya, but I have decided.

    Barkha Dutt: Are there more ?

    Shah Rukh Khan: No, one a year. Now I have decided!

    Barkha Dutt: One a year. Ok...

    Shah Rukh Khan: I have fixed my quota now.

    Barkha Dutt: That's controllable.

    Shah Rukh Khan:Just controllable, ya. So the second fight I got into and I came home and I apologized to my children.

    Barkha Dutt: So, this is the MCA incident?

    Shah Rukh Khan: This is the MCA incidence.

    Barkha Dutt: Ok

    Shah Rukh Khan: So I said sorry to my son and my daughter and I explained to them what was verbally said to me, though I didn't want to talk about the unsecular part of it because, I don't want to. I never discuss that with my kids, about religion, xyz. I just let them be.

    Barkha Dutt: Can I hold you right there. Because you are saying that you didn't want to discuss the unsecular part of it. So, you are actually saying that what was said to you was a communal statement?

    Shah Rukh Khan: Ya. It was'nt nice and I stated right in the beginning that I would not like to repeat it. Because, then again, it becomes an issue and I don't want it ever to be. And again, I'd like to say, it wasn't an association I was fighting with, it was an individual, who should not speak like this. And if the association does take a call, it's their rules and I would respect it.

    Barkha Dutt: Can I ask you something, that given the amount of criticism that you got from so many quarters for how you behaved on the MCA grounds, and you are now saying, I think for the first time, because, at your press conference you only said that they were very abusive, they behaved very badly, they tried to manhandle the children including your daughter. But you havn't come out on record and said that what was said to you was a communal thing.

  Shah Rukh Khan: No, I unsecular in the press conference.

    Barkha Dutt: So, why are you not telling us what this was?

    Shah Rukh Khan: You know why, because it makes it even more pertinent that we have issues in our country which are not...which are communal. I don't like it.

  Barkha Dutt: Questioning your patriotism, questioning your...

   Shah Rukh Khan: No, no, no. Ya, ya just a word, which I misread because I am from Delhi. I thought was... it meant something else. But it meant something else. And then somebody told me and I really got angry at that and, ofcourse, the kids were pushed or whatever. But, I mean all that aside, I just felt pathetic and really bad that my kids had to see me like this, they have never seen me like this. My son had only one thing to say after I gave a long explanation for my behaviour. He said, "you know papa I am glad that you didn't hit anyone. Because if you ever try to in public I'd bring you down."

Read: Shah Rukh Khan: Live life King Khan size

    Barkha Dutt: He said that, your son ?

    Shah Rukh Khan: Ya. I'm tough enough! Which he is not. Ok, I won't say that, because he's a tough guy. He said you know I'm gonna push you down and not let you hit anyone. So, I said, ya you should. And I'm sorry I did that. And after it's been long I asked him, is it ok? He said I have just one thing to ask. I said, what? He said, why? So, I found that very...

    Barkha Dutt: Why what? Why did you react the way you did? Why did they say what they said to you?

    Shah Rukh Khan: No, just why. Just why did you do all this? So, I'm like, Ok, I'm sorry and my daughter was deeper, as normally girls are! And she said, you know what, you don't have to say sorry to us, you don't have to say sorry to anyone. It's just that, because of what you do, later on you go very deep in depression and I don't like it when you are so deeply depressed. So, for yourself, behave well. So, I think, like I said, I'm a nuisance child to my children, and I realized that that night. I promised them that I would behave better. No, I feel very ashamed when my children have to teach me how to behave because I think it's their age that they should be taught by me how to behave.

   Barkha Dutt: So you are saying that you were provoked in quite a serious way, with an unsecular comment but you still shouldn't have behaved the way you did?

   Shah Rukh Khan: Ya. Because I'm to behave well in interviews.

Barkha Dutt: No, you know in this interview you don't have to be...

Shah Rukh Khan: Can I... can I...

Barkha Dutt: You can be who you are....

Shah Rukh Khan: Can I do one thing. I would like to answer some of the questions as what is the right way to answer it and what is my way to answer it.

Barkha Dutt: I just want the truth as it's seen by you

Shah Rukh Khan: Can I do both please?

Barkha Dutt: Okay you can do both.

Shah Rukh Khan: So the right one. Yes, I've reached a stage and age in my life and career where people do look upto me as a role model.

Barkha Dutt: You can't even keep a straight face while doing this politically correct.

Shah Rukh Khan: I'm just joyful. And because I am a role model I should not give the wrong signals to people. So if people try to provoke me or say anything which is wrong, I should...the bigness and largeness of heart would be... the right thing to do would be that, yes, I should not retaliate to any one. If in actuality, if somebody again did this to me, ya, I'd bury them. And I should not be saying this, I just want everyone to know very clearly that I'm not a role model. I'm not a role model. I've never chosen to be. I wanted to be a movie star. I wanted to act. I want to keep acting and make you smile. I did not set out to be a role model because role models are people who play a role according to the perception that people think of them.

Barkha Dutt: Hmmm

Shah Rukh Khan: I'm not that. I really want to tell people that I'm a commoner. Ya, I've got a big house and I'm very rich and I can make a mistake and I can be wrong. And it's alright to be happy or wrong or right or whatever.

Barkha Dutt: And you were called all these things?

    Shah Rukh Khan: I know I have been called all of these things, and I heard about... I never thought I'll be such a big star.

  Barkha Dutt: So you're just being human.

  Shah Rukh Khan: You can be and it's alright but ya, when my kids sit down.

  Barkha Dutt: But still again you have to come back and answer your kids.

    Shah Rukh Khan: Ya, now I realize if I have to answer my kids, its little embarassing and I'm... I mean, they've never told me I am a role model. You know I'll tell you a strange thing, I have never told my kids, I don't know if it happens in houses. I know of some people, but in my house we have never talked to our children - badhe ho ke tum papa ki tarha banoge. And if I'm expected to be a role model then you have to accept that, ya, work wise I might be role model but personally I'm very different. It's like, I'll give you an example. I have never ever spoken after the first time about the fact that I get caught at immigration in America. I choose to go there, if I choose to go there I will follow the rule. Why, when I came back I did not even mention it to one person.

Barkha Dutt: Even at that time there was criticism that too much was being made of the fact that you were questioned for two hours.

   Shah Rukh Khan: I did not say a word to any one.

Barkha Dutt: Would you have preferred if it was low key and treated more routinely?

Shah Rukh Khan: No, I would prefer....can somebody realize that it is my choice to go to America inspite of this. And I did and I know fully well this is going to happen, and I still choose to go. And that's it. It's as simple as that. It's a rule like, you know, you go into a holy place, you take the shoes off. It's as simple as that. I should not go to a place if I have an issue taking my shoes off.

Barkha Dutt: So you're not offended when you're stopped. Not more than once now its happened to you in America, for questioning, because, obviously, your name matches some list that they have?

Shah Rukh Khan: Ya. So either I change my name or, you know, lose my fame so people don't copy my name. But to be really honest, I'm not offended. I'm not offended to the extent that I don't go to some place but, like if I come to your house once and you offend me or I feel offended, it might be a regular rule in your house, but I feel offended I won't go there. The fact that I choose to go there for work or for whatever reason means that I'm not offended enough.

Barkha Dutt: So is the fuss created over it disproportionate you think? You know, Omar Abdullah, for example, had said on Twitter when you were detained the last...

Shah Rukh Khan: Do you have dark glasses?

Barkha Dutt: Sorry?

Shah Rukh Khan: Do you have dark glasses?

Barkha Dutt: Do I have dark glasses! Why, you're tired of the public light shining on you?

Shah Rukh Khan: No, no, no, no, no. I read on his Twitter, why do I wear dark glasses at night?

Barkha Dutt: Oh I missed that one.

Shah Rukh Khan: So I'd like to wear dark glasses and answer this question.

Barkha Dutt: Okay I missed that. I missed that tweet of his. But I was talking to you about the tweet where he actually said when you were detained, that what's all the fuss, everybody or many people get detained at the American airports. Why is it a fuss everytime?

Shah Rukh Khan:Ya, and he's right. He's right in saying that.

Barkha Dutt: Is he right?

Shah Rukh Khan: I think he's right in saying that. And I think it's alright if he feels it. See, everybody's got an opinion.

Barkha Dutt: What's yours? When you get stopped? It must be bit of an irritant.

Shah Rukh Khan: I have a system problem. That here is a system, a place, a country, an organization, which you know we actually try to emulate in terms of organization and systems and processes. Once a thing happened, the American consulate very generously came, they apologized. They were very kind and they said, you know, next time it won't happen. And now your name has been given and the eye thing has been taken and whatever. Second time it happened, when I went for Ra.One at Toronto. You know, the immigration in America is done in Toronto. Somehow, my bags were open and da da da da da, and everyone recognizes and they are very kind to me. But it is two and a half hours of just standing there with your bags and I had to repack them, which was even worse, and I would repack them really badly and broke a few things. And then, third time again it happened. And my only humble request is that if some thing has happened, not only for me, it could be happening to other people also, and it's obviously a system and a process error- it can be rectified. It would actually auger better for the security of every place if all the names, see if there is a wrong name, there could be a right name which has not have been picked on also.

Barkha Dutt: But, you know I read in the papers, that Henry Kissinger, who was Secretary of State in America, was also stopped and questioned. So, unlike in India, where a lot of important people don't get stopped...

Shah Rukh Khan: No, thats not...

Barkha Dutt: Perhaps, in America they are a little less discriminate.

Shah Rukh Khan: I have never ever taken this and I read some comments.

Barkha Dutt: Ya...

Shah Rukh Khan: I have never India, when I go I have never broken a line. As a matter of fact if you go and ask the Mumbai customs, the gentleman, whose name is incidentally Mr. Wankhadhe, he will say that whenever he comes he is one of the few people who will sit there and wait. Yes, I do request them can my children go, if they are with me. And I sit there. I open bags. I tell them what I have. I have that kind of reputation in any official department. I have never walked in thinking I am Shah Rukh Khan.

Barkha Dutt:One of the things that were said when the MCA incident happened was, this is the same Shah Rukh Khan who can't fight with American immigration officials, but was flexing his muscle with MCA officials. Basically, to say you know...ghar mei raja banta hai.

Shah Rukh Khan: Ya, ya they should try and touch my kids in America. I'll show them. Ya, and try and say that to me in America which I think, incidentally is said to be really honest, without saying it, they say it. That your name is whatever and you know it kind of tallies with somebody else's name or with the religion that we look at more a bigger...

Barkha Dutt: But you don't see that as communal? Even though it is a sort of racial profiling? Do you see that as important? Are you able to make that distinction?

Shah Rukh Khan: To be honest I don't give a damn about any other country. I do give a damn about my own country and to be really honest I have been brought up well and am a little educated and I know how the world is, and lately changed where a lot of the world countries are also communal. But I think in my country, in my capacity as a person, if there is something communal, I think I should say it a little more flexing my muscles than anywhere else. But I'd still say I mean the authorities there and I completely abide by the rules and it's alright. I wasn't going anti in association. I was going anti in person who in that association. And if this is the rule I'll follow it. But I think they should have a talk with that gentleman also. I don't know what he looks like. And I won't be bothered and I wont recognize him again. But it's not fair. You know, talk like this and if you talk like this you are at my face. I mean talk to me. And I am not being a goonda.

Barkha Dutt: Was that the tipping point of the fight?

Shah Rukh Khan: No, I actually came down because somebody told me that you know couple of matches before, some people from the audience had walked onto the field and the security guy was reprimanded for that. I think he assumed the children who were watching the match and had walked onto the field. So I took them out to the bus which was parked. I came to pick them up. So I think it was the same kind of feeling for him and he was being a little more strict than he would have been the day before. So he was pulling them out and I didn't like that. I just told him please don't touch them and he still pulled another kid and I said don't touch them and that time the gentleman came from behind and said something. I just turned around and I said what are you saying? I didn't even understand it first. I misheard the word for something else and I just turned around and said something to him once again. Then somebody explained to me saying this. So I went to him, by then 4-5 people came to protect him and yelled arrest him and stuff like that.

Barkha Dutt: In not going public with what they said to you, aren't you allowing the narrative, in a sense the dominant narrative to be, 'Here's this spoilt brat, superstar, used to having his way, flouting rules, comes with his children, breaks those rules, wants VIP treatment and when he doesn't get VIP treatment, shouts at the police officers..'because you haven't actually..

Shah Rukh Khan: We're not in America..

Barkha Dutt: Only in India, not in America. That too has been said. Now by not actually elaborating on what they said to you that was communal, you made it clear it was one word, it was communal. Deeply communal, not secular but by not elaborating on it by not actually letting people know how, how abusive it was, are you not allowing the other narrative to define the incident?

Shah Rukh Khan: I think it's enough for me to say that yeah it wasn't something that I think is to be said. You know, you can say a few words which are gaali like...

Barkha Dutt:Which you did?

Shah Rukh Khan:Yeah which I did, well I abused but I think a lot of people can be very disturbed by that too. You know, you should not have said it. I was very disturbed with that and didn't want to elaborate because I just wanted it to end. It is extremely embarassing for my children to keep seeing this on television and reading about it on the papers. My daughter, was not feeling good about this whole thing. I'm like ok, now just let it end. Next time if somebody says this to me, I think I'll just move away.

Barkha Dutt: In your home, you have always said that religion has been a non issue. Did your kids understand that something like this was said to you, did they want to know what it meant?

Shah Rukh Khan: You know because it has been such a non-issue as a matter of fact like I said my daughter finally turned around and said "Why are you making an issue of it if its a non issue" and that struck a chord. Yeah, if its a non-issue, its a non-issue, let people say what they say and what they want to. Just keep quiet, don't over react to it. What are you protecting the fact that somebody else has difference of opinion about religions and you are someone who doesn't have, then why are you behaving like this? You don't need to teach them in this manner because then you are succumbing exactly. You know, the deriding ways that occur when people talk about it.

Barkha Dutt: There's one part of you that I am hearing say "When I had to come home and explain it to my daughter and son, it was really awful" and the other part is still saying "Hand on, if I have to give you the truthful politically not correct answer, if it happend again I would do the same thing all over again" Right?

Shah Rukh Khan: No, now I'll tell you what I'll do ..

Barkha Dutt:No, now you have to give me the real answer and not the politically correct..

Shah Rukh Khan:Real answer I'll tell you, what I'll do differently if I get really really angry at something, being a public fugure, I'll take that gentlemen into a public toilet, close the doors so nobody sees it and then do what I wish to do with him. So that nobody can take a picture with me like this..

Barkha Dutt: There are people who are going to listen to this interview as they have listened to previous interviews and write as they have written before that Shah Rukh Khan is going through some sort of mid-life crisis when he behaves like this and talks like this.

Shah Rukh Khan: yeah yeah, i keep hearing that.

Barkha Dutt: You heard a lot of that when this incident happend. Right?

Shah Rukh Khan: When they call pop psychologists. Yeah I heard lots of them.

Barkha Dutt:And what did you feel? Did you feel amused, hurt, angry when you heard this?

Shah Rukh Khan: I'll tell you what I felt. I actually wrote it down what I felt that day.

Barkha Dutt:As part of your book that you are writing?

Shah Rukh Khan: I just wrote it. I wrote it on my phone memo and I kept it because it kinda hurt me. You know, I look at this and I say ok here these people living in small boxes of judgement and righteousness and I noticed that the box is seeming smaller than the 42 inch plasma television that I'm watching them on. This small, its really small and they symbolize my hurt and I was very disturbed and the hurt and angst becomes anger which is the second part and I'm looking at them and I start analyzing, Why am I getting angry and hurt with them? I'll tell you why because I'm a movie star. All my life, all I wanted in mid-life, in before mid-life, before from childhood when I started acting in theatre, all I wanted to do and all I want to do is to be accepted, loved and give in whatever form and I'm very fortunate. I'm very fortunate that I get chances to share happiness with people by doing a cart-wheel, so be it. Letting my underwear show, maybe incorrect in the eyes of the politically correct, I can do all that. I just want to give as an entitlement, I want to give it. If you ask me today Shah Rukh, you know this show is getting too serious. Can you do something? I'll do chammak challo for you. I'm not going to sit down and say you know I've gotta take myself more seriously. This is going to be the possesion of the people when Shah Rukh Khan talks you should talk intelligently. I can get an intelligent look on my face, I can..

Barkha Dutt:Whats your intelligent look? Can you show it to us?

Shah Rukh Khan: Not yet..

Barkha Dutt:The serious intelligent look, otherwise you are very intelligent but it mostly comes out in the form of (laughs) self depricating humour.

Shah Rukh Khan: I can think before I take a little longer, use bigger words which nobody understands but I started feeling I'm ready to give. You ask, I'll give. Without asking I'll give. I'll do it. I'll do anything that you want me to do because I want to be liked, I want to be loved. That's the first rule wanting to be an actor and this is what I teach my children too or any young actor or actress who meets me. First rule..

Barkha Dutt:But where does the wanting to be liked and loved reconcile with the kind of bitchiness, scrutiny, criticism that you hear about yourself the whole day?

Shah Rukh Khan: I'll tell you, I want to give and I'm giving and I'm saying please take this and suddenly I'm noticing that after giving so much also, there are people who question that giving with different titles to it that 'mid-life crisis', 'dhahdha', 'arrogrant', 'big star'. What does he think, where does he think he comes from blah blah blah and while I was watching all of them, I was watching lots of them on television because I did.

Barkha Dutt: You couldn't resist that, you couldn't just say I'm not going to listen to what they are saying about me?

Shah Rukh Khan: No

Barkha Dutt:You can't do it ?

Shah Rukh Khan:I want to watch it, I want to watch it because it was being said in a different tone than it happened. So i was watching it all this like I say pop-psychologist, socialite in their designer saris wearing more make-up then the attitude I wear and yeah I love this, I'll repeat it again. Anchors who look like over grown school boys think they are cow boys and their little self-importance held together by their outdated ties and calling me a brat saying x and saying y and I kept on looking at them and then I realized you know what, I symbolize their hurt too, they are not the only one who symbolize my hurt. That they are not loving me enough, I symbolize their hurt that they I can't do a cartwheel and not because I can't do it physically but because I do not have those many occassions to express my happiness and not only express it, share it with so many because there are a lakh people and I do a cartwheel and the lakh people say 'Yaay! good fun, had a goodnight'. Can I say one thing. It's ok to be happy and share it. You don't have to give it names of mid-life crisis. So if I was 27.

Barkha Dutt: No, they didn't say it then. They said it when you had the fight at the MCA, that he going through a...

Shah Rukh Khan: Yeah yeah I'm analyzed every moment and every time for whatever actions I do. Like I said I can't wear dark glasses at night. There are so many other people do, it is ok. Now I said something that Jack Nicholson had said that the sun doesn't stop shining on me thats why I wear dark glasses at night. I said it in my interview also and long time back, many years ago they made a thing out of that also and its alright, I guess now I have to get used to. Like I told you last time Barkha, I'm getting more and more reclusive now. You know there was a time when I was telling all these young boys and girls who had come to do this interview with me and I told them you know there was a time when I was driving in a car and I saw all of them pounding on the glass, I would stop my car and chat with them not because I wanted to get that extra mileage or press but because I see them doing their job. Will it be nice for them? A young kid came to you and said Barkha we got Shah Rukhs interview, so it will be nice. Because I was treated like this when I was young in the film industry that somebody did stop the car and say hey you are a good actor, come on in. I'll give you a role. So I do all that and now I stop doing it. They ask me in Kolkata they ask me, they ask me here in Mumbai, Shah Rukh bhai you don't stop and pose for us anymore at a party, you look disturbed, I said broke my heart and is it ok to be a celebrity and have your hear broken.

Barkha Dutt:But you know there are those who say that it comes with the turf of being in the public eye. People love you sometimes for completely artificial reasons, even the praise and even the adulation can sometimes be very far from you know how people imagine not you are.

Shah Rukh Khan: It is, it is. All the praise that I get and all the criticism I get, the truth is somewhere in the middle. I have always maintained this because I'm neither King Khan and neither am I an arrogrant brat but there must be qualities of both of me that somewhere in the middle, not to those extremes. But I got saddened because my own colleagues, you're my colleague, we're in the media you know. I mean I'd like to say because you do the news, whatever stardom you get being a newsperson, you can't take it seriously.

Barkha Dutt:Ofcourse you can't.

Shah Rukh Khan: You still have to do the news. So whatever stardom I get as an actor can't be taken seriously. I still have to just act you know that is the basic thing.

Barkha Dutt: What you're saying you need the space to lose your temper sometimes, to have a bad mood, to have a bad day, to not talk to people if you don't want to, don't want to play the persona of the filmstars?

Shah Rukh Khan: I can't do it outside like you said because I'm a public figure, so I'll do it inside. So I find myself getting like I said not wanting to go to a lot of places and yeah I'll be very honest. Is it wrong like I asked you before and you answer that because you are a celebrity. How much of a thick skin do you have? How much of it is it alright? Like if you were to be sad. Do I not have the right to be heart-broken at your behaviour or even that is not allowed or like my friends tell me, most of the actresses I work with very gently and kindly they tell me, so even if you're saddened don't show it because you should just be smiling and I said no, I don't want to smile when I don't want to smile. Yeah in movie if you ask me, I'll smile 40 retakes and I just felt you know when people are saying this and nanana and I was like you know there was a little kid wearing torn jeans, in one of the matches and a white t-shirt like me and I was walking and a lot of kids dress up like me in the stadium and he was waving to me and saying Shah Rukh bhaiya, Shah Rukh bhaiya. Little kid, 'Shah Rukh bhaiya, aapne aaj phati jeans nahi peheni hain. Phati jeans pehenoge toh jeet jaaoge.'

So I answer back. I wasn't wearing these torn ones so I said, "yaha sein phati hue hain, neeche sein and tu aake baki phad de'. You know you come and tear it and the kid must be so happy and somebody said I'm showing my shoe to the people, I'm showing my shoe to the organizers. And I'm like. That is a wrong interpretation. These people who were talking they also take the picture and say the same thing.

Barkha Dutt:You're not at all more used to it than you were?

Shah Rukh Khan: I always tell people that if I lead my life 51% good and 49% bad, it's a victorious glorious life you know. But suddenly I started feeling somewhere and I told all the kids, I have them sweet yesterday. I have a new rule which I started that if you ask me good question, I'll give you a good sweet. If you ask me a bad question, no answer just a bad sweet.

Barkha Dutt: What's a bad sweet?

Shah Rukh Khan: A bad sweet, it's very pungent, I dont like it. I gave it to one kid and he said 'Yeh toh bohot aacha hain' and all. So different stokes for different people.

Barkha Dutt: No, so what's a bad question? I don't want what's a bad question?

SRK - Like I can do it with you but if you ask me something with a notion to make it just a scandalous or a headline. I don't think I need to do that like you know some. Toh aapne juta kyu dikhaya? Nahi dikhaya. Bol deeya meine. Phirse mat pucho mujhe. Toh aap kya abhi ussko mafi mangege? Arre yaar.. You don't. You've read what I said.

Don't go there so that if I say no. Toh Shah Rukh Khan ne manna kar deeya. Even what I said mein na yaar itna pareshaan ho mein teen din se theek se nahaya bhi nahi toh mein nahaya aaj. Somebody said you're looking really fresh. So I said mein nahaya and I said oh my god please! one of you guys don't start writing Shah Rukh Khan teen din nahaye nahi. You know don't make it like this and I understand it's a job. I understand that it should be taken maybe with a pinch of salt, maybe it should be taken in a joke but when the joke comes to my house, I'm finding the shadow of my actions, good and bad becoming too dark on my family and that disturbs me, that disturbs me a lot. So I'm like. Maybe I should send them somewhere else to study, just give them..

Barkha Dutt: Is it that serious? Have you actually considered that?

Shah Rukh Khan: No, I just start feeling that as is, I'm very grateful for who I have become professionally, very very grateful. I don't think there is anybody in the world who is as lucky as I am. For the amount of talent, the way I am. I just got so much more. The only fear that Ive always had is that my children should be able to go beyond the shadow of their father's name. If the name exists, it means there are years from now that they have grown up. You know, I don't like it when somebody turns around and looks at them, 'Tum bhi daddy ke tarah hero banoge? Nahi banega? It's ok. Nahi banega

Barkha Dutt: What Explains the change though. In the sense that you have said that you are less able to take the judgements or the naratives that people create about you?

Shah Rukh Khan: See when you have a relationship with someone, suppose you and I know each other for 10 years and we're sitting and having food and you turn around and say something to me because we have a relationship for some years. You assume that the way I said it Shah Rukh will know because we have a relationship. Right? But if Shah Rukh only turns around and goes to somebody you know what Barkha said. Barkha said this. You said but Shah Rukh I always joke like this, it wasn't meant to be. You assume when you have a relationship of 20 years, 21 years. Listen guys I know, I can joke like this, I always joke like this. I've always had this sense of humour but why is that ..

Barkha Dutt:But people don't get your sense of humour quite often..

Shah Rukh Khan: Yeah but why is it suddenly that oh it's arrogant. Like if somebody says anything you know if you ask me a question I can answer as a joke but its a joke. Don't make it out to be something that is arrogant or self-narcistic or bratty or stupid. No. I genuinely and I'm not trying to clarify my position but I'm a very humble person. Whoever has worked with me they will tell you this and I'm a very humble person but I speak my mind, have a lot of fun and I joke about things but if you wanna. If you take all my jokes and put them in one column and say read them he is so arrogant. Yeah they can read like that.

Barkha Dutt: A lot of people want to know how much of winning the IPL was a moment of personal vindication for you, given all this that it happened along the way ?

Shah Rukh Khan: Evertime I lost IPL and when I say I..sorry I...

Barkha Dutt: The team?

Shah Rukh Khan: I don't mean to take away from them. I'm just talking personally because I happen to be a part of the team. Everytime it happened, I always fell that I will win it once and I'll be vindicated. After 3-4 times it became, I'll be vindicated and when I prove to the world that I'm not a loser, this is not personal and not as a team. Some people might say I'm taking away all credit from the team. The winning is completely because of the team. Everything that happened is because of Venky, jay and the team. I'm just the logo. I'm the guy who does the cartwheels.

Barkha Dutt:The code

Shah Rukh Khan:Yeah the code. I genuinely believe that I am vindicated, I will show people I am a winner and I have not got this wrong, people to know that I can run a company in a way which is not about films and I wanted to show it to my kids that when your father says things are going to be right, they will be right.

Barkha Dutt:And it took 5 years.

Shah Rukh Khan: It took 5 years. Every year I went to that match. Every match with that belief, when I smiled too much some people said he is behaving like a fool, when I look serious they say ohh he's very depressed. It wasn't either. It was just that I needed these 5 counts to be corrected. Last over, 9 runs, I don't remember anything of it. In the first time in my life I was in a zone and I got on top of that railing and I believed I can fly. Honest to god, honest to god. Very disturbed my sister and my daughter and my wife and everyone stopped me because I knew I could fly at that point of time and I would have been the first human being who is not in the serial heroes who could fly. I would have flown ok. They didn't allow me to fly so I'll never find out. The match finished, I hugged everyone, I loved everyone, I found out what happend it the last 6 balls. I did not know Manoj Tiwari had the winning run and he was like 'Bhaiya, maine mara ..aapko kaha tha jitoonga IPL'. Pretty sorry I was in a zone, I came to my room. Everyone went away..I slept 8 in the morning after watching the match 5 times and I got up at 9 o'clock and nothing mattered. No vindication, no proving to anyone.

As a matter of fact I suddenly also learnt that if I am wrong telling my children something and if their father is not right and proven wrong, that's also alright. I have never experienced this that I have no feeling of wanting to do anything after this victory and I told my household while I was sitting there that I'm completely empty. I have no..I have..

Barkha Dutt: It's a adrenalin rush also. Isn't it?

Shah Rukh Khan: No, no I'm all geared up to shoot. I played football just now but I dont want to. I feel nothing. Don't feel vindicated.

Barkha Dutt:You're able to say that now. Had you lost?

Shah Rukh Khan: I don't know.

Barkha Dutt:You don't know yeah. But in that moment when you go down to the grounds and you sort of do the cartwheels and you speak to the commentators. In that moment is there a sense of you know everybody said crap about me, everybody wrote me off and know I'm here?

Shah Rukh Khan: If I had a sense of that, I would say it. If I had a sense of that ki now tell me was my team good or not? All I do was chamak challo. All I do is a cartwheel. Expressing happiness.

Barkha Dutt: But why did you decide to stand there and sort of say I'm sorry to my fans and children for what happend in MCA . Did that moment make it possible or easier for you to say.

Shah Rukh Khan: Somebody asked me if you had lost would you say it? If I lost I won't go for the interview.

Barkha Dutt:Ofcourse you would.

Shah Rukh Khan: No I won't, I'd go home.

Barkha Dutt:You're not that spoiled?

Shah Rukh Khan: I'm very spoiled.

Barkha Dutt:That spoiled?

Shah Rukh Khan: I'm very spoiled. I'm a kid. Like I told you I'm a nuisance to my children. I'm a kid. I'd go and its alright to go. Why should I give the sporting face. If I don't like something. I don't want to do it.

Barkha Dutt:Dhoni did it. Dhoni gave a sporting face.

Shah Rukh Khan: But they have to. They are the captains of the team and they have to. I don't have to. I can just go away. I did 2 matches I lost, I just went away and everybody...

Barkha Dutt: You've locked youself in rooms?

Shah Rukh Khan: I've locked myself in a room and I've cried and I've said yeah I'm not coming out. My friends are knocking tu theek toh hain. I said haan itna bhi bura nahi hoon but I'm not coming out, I'm feeling really sad..

Barkha Dutt:You mean there was no part of you which was going I told you so for example when your old friend Saurav Ganguly said after the MCA incident that Shah Rukh's problem is that you know he gets emotional and he says these things that he shouldn't and my advice is that he should just lie low and you know everything that you've been through with him. That you win in kolkata. With KKR. Winning without him?

Read: Wrong to call me 'badshah of cricket', says SRK

Shah Rukh Khan: Not once, not once to anyone. To Gautham. To anyone in the last and I've never done this. People will not believe it but I've never gone and told my team win it because I need to prove it.

Barkha Dutt: But after you won it?

Shah Rukh Khan: No. Not as a matter of fact I said I'm empty. It became even unimportant that what do my kids think. There's nothing more important to me than that. I picked up daughter, I called up my son and I said. That's all I did. I went in to the bathroom. To the changing room. Sorry if that's not allowed in the rules but I asked everyone. I asked everyone everything everytime can I go here. Can I not go.

Barkha Dutt: You did not drag someone to that public toilet too?

Shah Rukh Khan: Not yet, not yet. That idea has come to me now.

Barkha Dutt:ok, ok.

Shah Rukh Khan: But I just went inside and I called my kid and I said it. I don't know how it was. He said jumped on the bed and broken the bedroom. So i said It's just like me. I'm just jumping in the stadium and trying to break it but it's kinda the same and I'm a little kid like that and I said are you happy. He said what do you think. Yes I'm very happy. He said what do we do now? I said that's what I was thinking what do we do now. So then I looked at my daughter and said. What do we do now? She said I dont know what do we do know. We didn't know what to do after that. We didn't want to bellittle anyone, didn't want to say anyone I told you so. Even when I came home. I lay down in the bed with my 2 kids, took a picture. Just woken up, so my hair were standing. I've strictly censored that picture and we don't know what to do. I don't feel any angst , any anger. I never have. Yes, there were times when a few people commented to me that oh Shah Rukh Khan does not know how to run the team. I wasn't running the team ever but it still irked me that I wasn't running the team but the boys were running it. Dont say that I just said this yesterday.

Barkha Dutt:You didn't want to say something to Ganguly who had said this about you?

Shah Rukh Khan: No, I went off to him after the match and gave him a hug and he said 'Kya bhaiya mujhe hara dia'. And I said please yaar kabhi toh jeet rahe hai I said thank you. Will you please come and take a round with me in Eden Gardens because you know you started us on this. I genuinely say I feel warm. I feel warm like that. I would never say something and I had seen sometimes when I say some things then people go like ohh, isne aisa bol diya. But I just wanted to say. Yesterday the first thing I wanted to say everyone is that I feel so sorry that my team that in whatever capacity I call it my team, as a humble owner, employee of the team. It is actually under too much scrutiny. Because of me, you know poor guys must be having a lot more pressure. Because of me and I don't want to put anymore pressure now and I've never felt like this. I've never you know when my team was going to go I got this video done of their family from all over the world.

Barkha Dutt:Hmm.

Shah Rukh Khan: That is the only motivation I can give them. I said you know what you've played for this team, for years you've played for your fans. For years. Go and play for the people that you love. So I got their mother's to speak to them, their daughter's to speak to them, their children to speak to them, this all I have done for this team. Nothing else. And make a music video. That's all I've done for the team. I've done nothing for the team. I will not take any credit of this team ever. It's been done by Gautam and the boys and it truly is right. But the other day I'm so scared to say, somebody asked me, 'Do you think Gautam is a good? I think he is the best captain.' I said no no no. I'm not comparing him to anyone. Please don't start a controversial...... (interrupted)

Barkha Dutt: Do you think he should be the captain of the cricket...Indian cricket team?

Shah Rukh Khan: Ya ya. Please don't compare. That is not part of my understanding or domain to answer. But if you ask me can Gauti star in a film? Yes. I can cast him in a film. That's my domain. But you know don't. I got so scared that I'm in touch with him, so I see him dealing with the team. So I just feel I can say that ya he has got great leadership qualities individually. Not comparing and belittling anyone else.

Barkha Dutt:But weren't there times when you wanted to pull out of the whole IPL altogether?

Shah Rukh Khan: Never ever.

Barkha Dutt:Never?

Shah Rukh Khan: I'll tell you one thing Barkha, however wrong this is, the wrong is okay this is the bad guy speaking. I would never ever whatever people take it as. As arrogance. People take it as crisis or whichever stage I am in, I never give up anything if I am losing it. Ever.

Barkha Dutt:Hmm, I can understand that.

Shah Rukh Khan:And I say this with all the humility of a little kid. I have taught my children this. I have my people who've worked with me this. I've not taught them I've tried to tell them. I would never leave. Yes after I win I can leave it. I'm over it. I'm detached. You know its done and...

Barkha Dutt:Are you detached now? Now that you've won?

Shah Rukh Khan: Done being delivered I feel right now. Let the Champions League start I'll be back. But I'l tell you honestly I can never never ever in my life leave anything when I'm losing. No. And not because I feel I have the strength to. I'm too good, I can beat you, I'm better than you. I say this with that kind of a perseverance, resilience, patience and that kind of humble strength, that no when I'm losing I'm not going and I don't say it with ohh I would have never.

Barkha Dutt:Hmm. I can totally understand.

Shah Rukh Khan:You know people write about he has got the XXXX and he's the King Khan and he is. I get pressurized by that. No. I'm a struggler. Failure has always made me. You know success has made me humble. Failure even more. It has not made me an idiot. That you know what now I'll hit my head harder against the wall.

Barkha Dutt:Hmm.

Shah Rukh Khan:I say this story to everyone that you know whenever you fail and I'm so glad I've failed so often. I'm so glad thats why I want to succeed so much and I say this with humility. I say this to my son. I tell my daughter. Everyone. So I have never ever felt. When I was losing. That I'll give this up and when I'm winning why should I? So its.You don't give up.

Barkha Dutt:The only one I know by the way was the guts to hug Mamata Banerjee. She can be a tough woman.

Shah Rukh Khan: Extremely sweet she is.

Barkha Dutt:Very sweet But very tough.

Shah Rukh Khan: She's never been tough with me. From the first time I met her. I think when I hug people who have good feelings, they let me hug them. When I hug people who have bad feelings, they feel I'm encroaching on their space. I don't know. Maybe I should stop hugging also. Because its taken wrongly.

Barkha Dutt:What rubbish?

Shah Rukh Khan:You know I've been told Shah Rukh don't hug. What are you doing? Its not you know. Now you have a status. So I said what ohh if I wear status I can't share love and I'll tell you I've been hearing the political take on it and it could be true. Not true. I'm not part of the politics but you know we were in a new city. We had a lot of issues and last year when we went there. All the times to all the officials, we said you know all we want to do is just come and make everyone happy with this team. We're not from here and she is, you know what? She is a very simple lady. I was seeing someone say why is she policing the people? A CM should not do this. Same thing. Why shouldn't the CM do this? What movie stars should not do this. An X should not do this. Today they are saying I don't think the Prime Minister should have applied to the charges. He should not do this. It's alright. It is alright. If you are in a position where people are listening to you and you want to tell them it's alright to be happy. You know what however great you are, it's alright to be human. I saw this programme with this gentleman again talking to Vishwanathan Anand's parents. But because he had decided that his parents have to be wonderful. Which they are. What a nice answer. So if he talks to me as a parent and I say that you know what my son abused this kid and I told him you're a kid, growing up. Out of it. wrong. Right. Good. It's not a nice answer. Come on its absolutely alright to be happy. It's absolutely alright to share your viewpoints. It's alright.

Barkha Dutt:To be you? whoever you are?

Shah Rukh Khan:Even if you're in a position of power.

Barkha Dutt:Ofcourse.

Shah Rukh Khan:Just you know that gentleman kept repeating, 'With great power comes great responsibility' (repeat 3 times) and with great power comes a web and slinging and flying and delivering pizza also and its alright the fact that great responsibility has come. If I see you know how often have you met an extremely powerful man or woman from the outside who have you seen and grown up and when you meet him he is kindly and gentle and you say wow you know like I'm not comparing but the most awesomer people that I've met in this world. The biggest. And you know you meet them and I remember. Actually Mamata di telling me, I went and she says ahhh 'isko fish lakar do.' It is very touching. Here's a lady who runs a government. I'm not talking about the politics. I don't know but we've all gone sat down I wore a jacket we all sit down and you know we sit like this, 'Good evening maam, arrey kuch khaya?' I said no I haven't. I said I've just landed. Arrey isko fish laake do chalo and she is serving all the people. So should I look down upon that?

Watch: I have to be a little more patient: SRK

Barkha Dutt: No ofcourse not.

Shah Rukh Khan:Absolutely. So if somebody's happy for a state or a city or a road or a stadium that you know we will bring. I keep telling people. Here we are who have been embraced by the city of joy. If we bring a little bit back, what's...

Barkha Dutt: What's the harm.

Shah Rukh Khan:What's the problem. I mean you know. I want to start a new anti-unhappy campaign. I want to go to Jantar Mantar and sit down. Am I saying politically incorrect statement.?

Barkha Dutt: Ofcourse you are (smiles)

Shah Rukh Khan:Okay I don't want to.

Barkha Dutt:Be ready to get into trouble.

Shah Rukh Khan: I was gonna say MCA...but no...(laughs)

Barkha Dutt: (laughs) Why don't you try MCA?

Shah Rukh Khan: I am going to go to the Gateway of India. I'm gonna go to the Gateway of India.

Barkha Dutt:MCA. MCA...

Shah Rukh Khan: No no

Barkha Dutt:MCA.

Shah Rukh Khan: Lemme find. I'm gonna take permission and go to Eden Gardens.

I want to sit in my garden and start an anti unhappiness drive. You know like is it in Bhutan where they have Gross National Happiness?

Barkha Dutt:Gross National Happiness?

Shah Rukh Khan: You know that's what I want to start. I know there are wonderful people talking about anti corruption, there are wonderful people talking about right governance. There are wonderful people talking about good news. I think I should be that wonderful person who talks let's be anti unhappy. Let's be happy. This country deserves to be happy. People deserve to be happy. You know why? Because we don't get it too often. So my whole logic is that in trying to be happy as long as we are not hurting anyone. Not physically. I'm saying emotionally.

Barkha Dutt:Let me ask you in the end is that the sort of left in or take away for you from this whole journey? In this tumultous ride if you had to say one thing that you've sort of learnt about yourself? That you didn't know. What would it be?

Shah Rukh Khan: I mean from what has been said.

Barkha Dutt: No just the whole ride to get to this point?

Shah Rukh Khan: (continues) that I need a shrink. Like that.

Barkha Dutt:No, no. For you? From your perspective? You look at this whole journey that got you till this point, when you stood there, you won. Its been a five year journey. There have been other things happening along your way, you are constantly under scrutiny and you sit here today and are you at peace?

Shah Rukh Khan: No. I'll never be at peace. That another part of my...

Barkha Dutt: That drives your creativity?

Shah Rukh Khan:Ya you can't be peaceful. Do I look so stupid that I should be happy? No you can''t be happy like that.

Shah Rukh Khan: Not angsty. I'm restless. I want to keep on doing things. I don't know when I'll stop. I want to wear makeup in the morning and I wanna do stuff if I can and not look silly. I'll still try and make things work. In my profession. In my life, I will try to spread the happiness that comes because of me. When I find it is becoming awkward, I will not do it myself first. What have I learnt about myself apart from being nuisance to my own children. You know I think I am a little anti-establishment. I am a litle anti rule and I think I am little stupid. Not stupid enough to be happy but I'm a little stupid I think because I say it how it is and now that the position that I'm in I should try and be a role model and play the role away from films also. I say it today I will not be like this tomorrow morning. I promise you but don't want to bring sadness and I really want to apologize to people. I am not apologizing you know everyone will make it is it to this person that person for the behaviour. For the behaviour for a guy whose saying I want everyone to have happiness. I want to spead happiness. I can't behave in that unhappy manner. I don't think I have any justification or reason to be pointing like this with my vein sticking out and abusing in public that doesn't make anyone happy.

Barkha Dutt:Well please never become politically correct because that will make you very boring.

Shah Rukh Khan: No no, I'll never become politically correct. I will I think I just say I apologised for that and my main apology because I am a television guy. I am a film guy and I am a screen guy.

Barkha Dutt:For showing your underwear?

Shah Rukh Khan: No no. Come on that's that's okay.

Barkha Dutt:Then?

Shah Rukh Khan: I'm getting older so I'm exposing a little.

Barkha Dutt: (laughs)

Shah Rukh: (laughs)

Barkha Dutt:So then for what?

Shah Rukh Khan: My apology is to all the viewers who were subjected to plastic over made up pop-psychologist socialites giving you lectures. That was really the worst entertainment of the evening. I think I really need to apologize you know just for that. I am going to be vey well behaved. That I don't have people who are not ugly physically but from the heart to come and speak nonsense on the television just because they can. And not let other people speak and saying some strange things. Strange things you know. One lady says I said my children or the girl was manhandled. Ohh it's a very serious charge of molestation. If Shah Rukh is claiming that. I really don't know much English but I think manhandling is just handling. Then some people are saying I think that's a very serious charge because molestation against the little girl. Can he prove it? I didn't say that. I mean God who I don't think any person in this world. A lady or a boy should be ever molested. I won't even say it as a joke. I remember there was a little piece I was doing in one of the award functions and I had a joke about rape. Somebody had written it and I read it and there were four, five people, two, three girls and boys and I remember I got disturbed that you could even joke about this.

Barkha Dutt:Of course you can't.

Shah Rukh Khan: So, I would never do something like this. I have that much correctness in me and I don't know what else to say I am trying to think something.

Barkha: It's okay. I'll tell you something. That as we end this you should accept that controversies are not going to be too far from you and you should make pace with it.

Shah Rukh Khan:With controversies then I should not answer back and all.

Barkha Dutt:No. You should be who you are. The ups and the downs.

Shah Rukh Khan: Do you think I'm going to get jailed one day for my behaviour?

Barkha Dutt:Ahh. I don't know.

Shah Rukh Khan: Do I look close to it?

Barkha Dutt: If you follow through with that public toilet experiment. You are going to jail.

Shah Rukh Khan:Oh I am going to jail. Okay two things tell me, where will I make it first to an asylum or to a jail? Or neither if I control myself and listen to my children?

Barkha Dutt:We will come back next year and find out.

Shah Rukh Khan: Oh thank you so much.

Barkha Dutt: Who with you think you will make it first?

Shah Rukh Khan: I think my only place is to the top so I'll remain there whatever there is on the top, I will stay there.

Barkha Dutt: Shah Rukh Khan thank you for talking with us.

Shah Rukh Khan: Thank You.