In the first few minutes of Do Knot Disturb, we see Manoj Pawha sitting on a pot, severely constipated, trying to relieve himself. He heaves and grunts and waits for something to happen. With that scene, director David Dhawan sets the bar sufficiently low and for the next two hours, he makes little attempt to raise it.

Do Knot Disturb is exhaustingly bad. Once upon a time, the combination of producer Vashu Baghnani, director David Dhawan and actor Govinda was short-hand for mindless but riotously funny comedy.

The trinity belted out a series of hits like Coolie no 1, Hero No 1 and Biwi No 1. But that was a decade ago. Now, everyone and everything seems old and horribly tired. Govinda plays an unfaithful husband whose business tycoon wife, played by Sushmita Sen, is on the brink of discovering his affair with an item queen, played by Lara Dutta.

He hires a waiter, played by Ritesh Deshmukh, to pose as his mistress’ boyfriend. Meanwhile, the mistress’ violent ex-boyfriend, played by Sohail Khan, is also in hot pursuit. Even my description of the film is funnier than the film itself. Do Knot Disturb brims with trite situations, vulgar gestures, high-pitched vocals and some seriously bad acting, especially from Lara Dutta.

But the unkindest cut is that they have reduced one of Bollywood’s most elegant actresses Sushmita Sen to an overweight eyesore. I’m assuming her chunky size is the excuse for why her husband strays. Which makes it even more offensive because Govinda isn’t exactly flaunting six pack abs himself. This is cinema as punishment. Steer clear.