Kajol is hyper selective about her roles and maintains a strict distance from the media.

Anupama Chopra, Consulting Editor, Films, spoke to the talented actress about U, Me Aur Hum, her honesty to the craft and marriage.

Anupama Chopra: You have always been most successful and sort of candy floss romances where as Ajay is more successful, work has been slightly more gritty realistic films. So was there ever a clash of the two schools while you were making this movie or did he just convert to candy floss?

Kajol: I don't think it was a conversion exactly to candy floss but the film that we had written was very very commercial we haven't tried to make an Ardh Satya or something like that, it is not meant to be in that genre of film at all. It's a commercial, good-looking film so we have been able to infuse some emotion into that as well.

Anupama Chopra: But you never had to tell him that make it more romantic or make it more commercial. His instincts are not naturally towards these?

Kajol: I don't know what his instincts are towards but fortunately he is a good enough director, the script that he has written he was able to put it on film exactly the way it was written and the way we imagined it if not better!

Anupama Chopra: You said in an interview that you always choose characters that you can identify with so in a sense you are portraying who you are on screen?

Kajol - Always!!

Anupama Chopra: Really?

Kajol: Always! Because I feel that every character that you do it has to be some part of you. Yes! It is a magnified part given cinematic liberty to make that part of you bigger but it has to be a part of you, otherwise I don't think that you could ever convince the camera that you aren't lying.

Anupama Chopra: You have always maintained a distance with the press, you have been very guarded about your personal life...but in the last couple of weeks there are pictures of you and Ajay playing Holi, daughter was at the music function, you are judging a music reality show with your mom and your husband. There was a column that suggested that you are actually marketing your personal life to market a film, what is your response to that?

Kajol: You know the fact that we have been away from the media so far has been because we had nothing to say. I mean I haven't done a film for two years so I mean the fact that I am sitting in front of you and talking about it is because I have a film coming up on release as well and yes part of it is true. Yes, we are doing a lot more interviews but as far as our personal life is concerned that has nothing to do with it.

Anupama Chopra: When Kiran Desai won the Booker prize she told a journalist that good writing doesn't come from winning prizes and being happy it comes from doubt, it comes from a difficult space, so does good acting comes from a difficult space to you?

Kajol: I think good acting comes from honesty, I really thinks so. I think that you can never lie to the camera, you can try and convince the camera but at the end of the day you have to believe in each and everything you do in front of the camera otherwise it doesn't work and honesty is difficult.

Anupama Chopra: So, you have to be honest to the intentions in front of the camera?

Kajol: Yes! Definitely, in that moment you have to believe that whatever you are saying is the complete and absolute truth.

Anupama Chopra: It's not that you have to be an honest person per say?

Kajol: No, at that point of time you have to believe in it completely.

Anupama Chopra: Because otherwise bad actors would be dishonest??

Kajol: Damn!! .....I think it's like, you know you won't be able to see the magic if you don't believe in it.

Anupama Chopra: You are considered one of the best actors of your generation and yet you have always maintained that you are not driven by acting. You said in interviews that if I never did another film again I wouldn't miss it. Do you think this sort of inherent contradiction actually makes you a better actor because you are attached but also detached?

Kajol: I wouldn't say I am detached because when I am working I am 300 per cent there and I am all for it and I am definitely very much into it when I am working. But when I am not working I feel that there has to be a balance you cannot be so obsessed with anything. I think obsession of any kind is just bad for health. When I was doing four films a year, by the second or third year I had stopped enjoying it so much and that's when I realised and I said you know it's time to back off here before I get completely burnt out. So, whenever I do it it's a joy and it's a pleasure.

Anupama Chopra: And in the same interview you said I could stop acting but I could never stop knitting or reading !!

Kajol: Yes! I can never stop doing that. I feel that's part of my personality like I keep three knitting projects around the place, one is in my room, one is upstairs in the den and one is downstairs in the car. So wherever I am I have one ongoing project and I love it. I need to do something with my hands its like therapeutic for me.

Anupama Chopra: So you are the World's only film star who prefers knitting to acting??

Kajol: Not really! ...I think Julia Roberts was there as well with me..but ya, I would say that i am the only one who prefers knitting to acting.

Anupama Chopra: I had interviewed you just a few months after your marriage and you had said to me that I am not the stereotypical wife and I won't do the stereotypical things because then we will have a stereotypical marriage and I don't want that. So did you manage to not have the stereotypical marriage?

Kajol: I think once again I have struck a balance between a stereotypical marriage and a new age modern marriage. I wouldn't call it modern but yes! Everybody has to make their own compromises and everybody has to find their own way of working a marriage. My family is my priority about my marriage.

Anupama Chopra: Nine years into your marriage what do you think is key to actually nurturing a marriage in the Bollywood circus?

Kajol: I don't know whether there is a key to anything..any relationship i can't say any particular thing that i do...whenever i pick up cosmopolitan and vogue they are like you know 10 things that you can do to save your marriage or 10 things that you can do to make things better or 10 key things to can do to and I could never figure it out. I think how come I don't have all these secret recipes and I think I am pretty okay. So, if you ask me, you just have to trust the person opposite you to want to be there as much as you do. You really need to talk to each other a lot about everything, most of your doubts and most of your problems, half of them are imagined because you know the minute you talk about something I feel you have a doubt oh did he do this didn't he do this, if you say it out loud you know how stupid it sounds and it minimises the problem automatically.

Anupama Chopra: When you were 13 your mom said to you that she was never going to raise her hand on you again and she was going to make you responsible. She said she was going to treat you as an adult and from that day you said that I am an adult and I am responsible for my actions and responsible for the consequences. Do you see yourself doing that with your daughter?

Kajol: I hope so! I really hope so.

Anupama Chopra: Doesn't it take a lot of courage to do it?

Kajol: I think it was superb of her and I think it was humungously big and it takes a lot of courage to do that with your children because I don't think that you can ever stop looking at your children as children. For a parent to say that ok now you are an adult to me I think it's the biggest compliment that you can give your child.


Anupama Chopra: But you know Karan Johar had said to me that people who come from outside the industry people like Mr Bachchan or Shahrukh will always work harder and be better behaved than second generation industry kids because they don't take all of this for granted but as a third generation industry royalty what is your response?

Kajol - I agree with him upto a point i do take it for granted but i take it for granted because of the fact that I feel I never worked towards it in the first place. I mean it was never my aim to become an actress just because my mother was an actress in fact that was what I actively avoided because I was like Oh! God its too unstable a profession, what if i fail! and I didn't want to fail at such a public arena. I was always like I will do it for a little while but you look at a Hrithik today and I think he works harder than anybody else and he is second generation. So when you talking about that I don't whether he takes it for granted, I have never seen him taking it for granted at least and I haven't seen him badly behaved either.

Anupama Chopra: And did you always worked very hard?
Kajol: I have always worked very hard but I think I would have worked very hard at whatever I did whether it was acting or whether it was something else i would have worked hard basically I am a coolly mentality according to my mother. I need to work hard my body and my mind they flourish when I am working very hard.
Anupama Chopra: What do you do when you take this long breaks between projects?

Kajol: I work at other things.

Anupama Chopra: Like what?

Kajol - I really enjoy my work outs so that's my big thing and I read a lot, I read read read!! i work at my relationships i spent time with my family, I spend time with my baby now ... that's really big for me. I wanna do things with her I want to take her to places and things like that.

Anupama Chopra: This whole world which has amplified, you know Bollywood is now global presence since you came in many years ago, its become a bigger brand name, its become more tempting, the money for stars are like through the roof now...none of this tempts you in any way to compromise on any other?

Kajol: No! Not for any other reason but as i said before my priorities are very very clear and always have been may be if I wasn't successful or may be if I had not been appreciated for what I did may be it would have tempted me.

Anupama Chopra: So, as an actor you are absolutely in a secure place?

Kajol: As a person I hope that I am in an absolutely secure space. Yes!! everybody thinks that Oh! What if I had done that film...you get offers everyday which are tempting but I think at the end of the day the decisions that you make you have to stick by them.

Anupama Chopra: So, after U Me Aur Hum are you going to go into a long hibernation again?

Kajol: I hope so ...I need it..i think my soul needs it ..i need that time to sit and knit and I need that time to sit and read and just chill and not think about anything!

Anupama Chopra: And will you or will you not do Karan's Film?

Kajol: I have no idea as yet I really have no idea. We are talking about it ...he approached me for the film but I haven't heard the script as yet. If I would claim to every film as mine when they approached me for it, I think I will be claiming 3/4th of the film industry. So, out of the 300 films that are made then I will be claiming 299 of them so.

Anupama Chopra: But even in a space and a friend like Karan you will not say Yes!! until you know the script?

Kajol: I know for a fact that he is good enough friend of mine that he would give me that choice.

Anupama Chopra: And you will hopefully be on screen and not knitting?

Kajol: No! I will hopefully be knitting..knitting...knitting.

Anupama Chopra: Thank you so much.

Kajol: My pleasure!