Farhan and Adhuna are separating after 16 years of marriage
An article in the Huffington Post a few years ago discussed the
anatomy of a celebrity divorce and revealed its key ingredients: (Also Read:
Farhan Akhtar, Adhuna Separate After 16 Years of Marriage)
"1. Let's pretend we're friends and we wish nothing but the best for each other. I know you just petitioned for sole custody and are trying to break our prenup but come on, let's put on a good face for our fans.
"2. We lasted seven years? That's somewhat of an accomplishment, given that I've hated you for six of them. (The only celebrities to mention how many years of marriage they endured are those who were hitched for seven years!)
"3. There will be paparazzi at our front door in a matter of minutes, but if we ask politely for privacy maybe they'll give it to us? (Read: wishful thinking.)"
And they really were onto something. Several years later, all the way in Bollywood, the stars have either studied this very piece or it's as universal a truth as anything Jane Austen ever wrote. Take the latest couple in B'Town - Farhan Akhtar and Adhuna Akhtar who announced the end of their 16-year marriage with this statement: "This is to announce that we, Adhuna and Farhan, have mutually and amicably decided to separate. Our children remain our priority and it is immensely important to us, as responsible parents, that they be protected from unwarranted speculation and public glare. We sincerely request that we are given the privacy that is required at this time to move forward in a dignified manner." Point 1? Check. Point 2? Ok not so much. Point 3? Check.
And yes, we admit we're all sad about it (sadder actually than we thought we'd be) - they were, after all, one of the more refreshing, unconventional pairs in the business. But, for us, it's a blessing (not the breakup, what do you take us for?), but the statement -- a mark of changing ways in Bollywood, possibly even the new norm - and that is something we can give thanks for. No more mysterious silences, no blank stares, no ignoring questions and letting the speculation mount to dizzy degrees.
Remember Anurag Kashyap and Kalki Koechlin, who were amongst the first to embrace the idea of keeping it simple and keeping clear. They have followed the guidelines to the letter: "Me and Kalki are separating, we are taking time off from each other to figure things out. We are not divorcing. We request the media to please respect our privacy and give us our space and not speculate. Thank you, Kalki and Anurag" read the statement. Not original, we grant you, but still amongst the first of its kind. We give them blanket props for that.
Then there was Konkona Sen Sharma and Ranvir Shorey who kept it shorter and even simpler with under 140 characters. They smartly dispensed with the privacy altogether (blame it on cynicism, space, or self-awareness - any or all work): "Ranvir and I have mutually decided to separate, but continue to be friends and co-parent our son. Will appreciate your support. Thank you," Konkona posted on Twitter. Ranvir posted an identical one. A bit bland but to the point.
"But it's the announcement of a break up," we hear you cry, "what should they say?" Well, we're the first to admit that sharing a few scraps is all a beleaguered entertainment journalist can hope for. You know, a little something something so we know which way to skew all the speculative pieces that we'll follow it up with up. Like Exhibit A: Hrithik Roshan. This was a doozy, one of the biggest breakups B'Town had seen - and Sussanne Khan and he made it official. This was pathbreaking. As was the announcement itself. He dispensed entirely with cliches and polite lies. Also, with chivalry: "Sussanne has decided to separate from me and end our 17 year relationship. This is a very trying time for the entire family and I request the media and the people to grant us our privacy at this time" (though he circled around well to number three).
Then there was this from the self-help book he has yet to, but really should, write. "I do not wish this news to disempower my fans and the people about the institution of marriage in any way. I am a firm believer in this institution and respect and honor it at the highest level."
And finally he reminded everyone that the one who was suffering the most was him. After all, and just in case you forgot, he was also ill as all this unfolded. "And once again I thank my fans for all the concern and prayers for my health, my treatment is going well and I should be able to resume my life in every way very soon. Thank you."
Sussanne, having less experience with press releases (one assumes), simply said this: "We are two individuals who respect and care for each other and have made our own individual choices. We are parents to two wonderful kids and our responsibility remains to protect and take care of them. Nothing can change that. Would appreciate if we are given our privacy in such a time."
A little flat, proof certainly of our opening thesis. But that's ok because we saved the best for last. The most candid, the most original, the most threw-the-book-away-because-I-don't-give-a-toss award goes to Pooja Bhatt:
"To all those who care & especially those that don't my husband Munna & Me have decided to part ways after 11 glorious years of marriage. Our split as some might call it is amicable & we hold each other in the highest esteem for now and forever. The reason I explain Is because we are both part of the public domain. Our friends,well wishers & foes are free to now speculate. : )"
Word.
And really, give us more words like these. Please? After all, rules (even ones we've pointed out) are meant to be broken.
Aneesha Baig is NDTV's Lifestyle Editor and Anchor, Will Travel For FoodDisclaimer: The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of NDTV and NDTV does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.