Burlesque is Hollywood doing Bollywood badly.
The musical stars Christina Aguilera as Ali, a small town girl, bursting with talent and Cher as Tess, the owner of a LA burlesque club, who becomes her mentor. The story is as old as the hills of Hollywood and director Steven Antin just can?t figure out a way to make it new.
The cardboard characters work as pit-stops between countless Broadway-style musical numbers. Christina, a best-selling pop artist, has a stunning voice but there is such a thing as over-kill. Everyone wears industrial strength feathers, rhinestones and sequins and the dialogue has the depth of Cher?s make-up.
So poor Stanley Tucci, playing the wise, gay manager, gets to say lines like: Every opportunity has a shelf life. I was hoping that Burlesque would be so bad that it?s good but for that you?ll have to go back to Paul Verhoeven?s Showgirls. This one doesn?t even manage that.