Dragonball Evolution is the movie version of the Japanese fantasy franchise, which includes bestselling comics, cartoons and video games.
It’s aimed mainly at 10-year-old boys. So, let me begin the review by telling you that I’m the wrong demographic for the film. So wrong in fact that I don't think I even fully understood the story. But here's what I gathered: Dragonballs are fiery, glowing balls.
Anyone who can collect seven of them inside the Dragon Temple during the Blood Moon eclipse will be granted one wish by a dragon.
On his 18th birthday, a mousy teenager named Goku is gifted a dragonball by his mystical grandfather. Soon the grandfather is dead and Goku is being chased by a vomit-coloured villain named Lord Piccolo.
We're told that Lord Piccolo has been imprisoned for 2000 years, is now seriously angry and wants to get the dragonballs and destroy the world. I'm sure his complexion isn’t helping his mood either.
So, Piccolo and his Ninja sidekick chase Goku and his new found posse, which includes the glorious Hong Kong actor Chow-Yun Fat, entirely wasted here as a guru in a Hawaian shirt.
There’s lots of mystical mumbo-jumbo. I laughed out loud when a 6-foot tall African-American monk said Namaste.
Of course, after lots of CGI-assisted action, Goku prevails. Dragonball Evolution is a cheesy, cliche-ridden, badly enacted movie.
The shocker is that it has been produced by Stephen Chow, the genius behind Kung Fu Hustle.
The film’s tagline is: Master Your Destiny. I suggest you master yours and stay far away.