Some films are aimed at the eye, some at the head, and still others at the heart. It takes an outrageous degree of audacity to fix the focus of an entire two-hour-plus movie a few inches above the solar plexus, or thereabouts.
But for all its unabashed flirtation with tawdry humour, Kyaa Super Kool Hain Hum is about as scintillating as the drone of a dying bumble-bee.
A bunch of bawdy blokes who have clearly taken leave of their brains and turned into sex-obsessed ?loin? kings run amok with a license to spill in this defiantly tasteless caper movie. Even the dogs aren't spared.
Kyaa Super Kool Hain Hum, directed by Sachin Yardi, has been produced by Ekta Kapoor's ALT Entertainment, and not Balaji Motion Pictures: she wouldn't want to associate the name of the Divine Lord with ribaldry such as this, would she?
The selfsame producer and director duo had foisted Kyaa Super Kool Hain Hum upon us in 2005 and made a fast buck. This follow-up to that surprise hit employs an endless flurry of vulgar double-entendres and vapid innuendos in its desperate quest for laughs and even bigger bucks.
Hand it to Ekta and Yardi ? they sure are a cussed twosome determined to stoop to any level in order to conquer, even to the level of jokes that go "twosome, threesome, handsome..."
Needless to say, over-the-top is par for the course in this sex comedy. It helps no end that the two lead actors ? Tusshar Kapoor and Riteish Deshmukh ? don't seem to know ? or want ? any better.
The lead pair is whole-heartedly supported by the likes of Anupam Kher, Chunky Pandey and Kavin Dave, who throw their combined 'hammy' weight behind the brainless mayhem.
Tusshar is Adi, a struggling actor who is stuck as a fairness cream model on a teleshopping channel. He shares a roof with an out-of-work DJ buddy Sid (Riteish) and the latter's pet, a pudgy pug with a sex life to kill for.
The dog is a canine gigolo who brings in pots of money by doubling up as a Vicky Donor of the animal world. This is humour gone to the dogs, literally.
The two guys, accompanied by the pug, follow a girl, Simran (Neha Sharma), all the way to Goa after she spurns Adi's advances, pretending that she has a same-sex lover.
A Dostana redux on the distaff side? Either way, heavy weather is the end-result. In Goa, the boys, on their part, run into a series of misadventures of a desperately sexual nature.
Life is a sandy beach all right for these randy guys ? bare bums and miles of midriff are on view from their vantage point ? but it isn?t quite as kewl as they might think it is.
The character played by Anupam Kher is Marlowe, a wealthy millionaire and Bollywood memorabilia collector who is deluded by a fake godman, 3G Baba (Chunky Pandey), into believing that his dead mother has been reincarnated as a four-legged creature. Bow-wow!
The mad, mad Marlowe has a fashion model-daughter, Anu (Sarah-Jane Dias), who nurses a major grouse against Sid because the DJ was responsible for an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction that she suffered during a catwalk.
The story's all over town and a smarmy TV news anchor rustles up a special programme titled Mere do anmol rattan.
For further evidence of the depths that KSKHH plumbs, sample this: the straight Sid strays into a gay nightclub called Adam & Steve. He mistakes it for Adam & Eve. Inside, Sid bumps into the owner, Adam, who is pining for his recently deceased partner and the other half of the nightclub's name.
"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name," says Adam. "Hi Sorry, I'm Sid," is the riposte.
"You're so witty," says Adam. "You are so Churchgate," replies Sid.
That is the general vein of the writing. The film plays on and on on sundry unmentionables until you are ready to hurl choicest expletives of your own at this monstrosity.
Kyaa Super Kool Hain Hum strives very hard indeed to be a worthy adult comedy, a poor Indian country cousin of American Pie, but all it manages to be is a juvenile and clunky ride through unending yards of the kind of laboured gags that went out of vogue with Dada Kondke.
The film is ostensibly targeted at the teen segment and it might even find some takers there. But it barely passes muster as a sex comedy. It?s crude, crass and completely clueless.