Shama Sikander's Struggle With Bipolar Disorder: Attempted Suicide, Wanted To Give Up

New Delhi: Actress Shama Sikander, who confessed to have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder four years ago, recently revealed the extent of her struggle with the psychological disorder. The 34-year-old actress explained she was "bored" with herself and with her life, reported Times Of India. Shama opened up about her ordeals and said that she even tried to end her life but was saved after her family members rushed her to the hospital, the Times Of India report added. Shama Sikander is best known for starring in TV serial Yeh Meri Life Hai, which aired from 2003 to 2005.

Shama said that stress from her career and personal life aggravated her condition. "I started finding conversations boring. I didn't want to meet anyone and stopped liking myself. Everybody I met during that phase was bored of life. My career and love life added to the stress. I wasn't eating or looking right. This can't be overnight; I am sure it must have been accumulating since several years," Times Of India quoted her as saying.

Shama Sikander was dating actor Alexx O'Nell, who was concerned with Shama's changed behaviour and advised her to consult a doctor. By then Shama had already tried to commit suicide by taking pills. "I just wanted to give up," said Shama. Talking about her drastic step, Shama told Times Of India: "Alexx, who has a degree in Psychology, suspected that I had bipolar disorder and advised me to consult a doctor. But at that time, I didn't want to get cured; I just wanted to give up. Though my life was going great, I was bored of it; nothing would impress or excite me. I even tried to commit suicide one night. I kissed my mother good night and told her not to wake me up. After that, I swallowed several sleeping pills at one go. Just before slipping away, I texted my brother my bank account details, which made him panic. He immediately called my mother to check on me and I was rushed to the hospital three hours later."

Shama also added that even after surviving her suicide attempt, she was upset with her family for saving her life as she wanted to "return as a new person." Shama told Times Of India: "I was angry with my family for saving me. I wanted to go and return as a new person. I didn't see death as the end; rather, it was the beginning of a new life. I didn't know that a rebirth was possible in the same life. But slowly, my soul awakened and I realised that it was a spiritual calling."

Earlier this year, in an interview with Hindustan Times, Shama Sikander said that having battled bipolar disorder herself, she now wants to help others deal with it. "The only thing I know is that I want to help others and when you know what you want to do, everything else just falls in place. If anything like that comes forward, then I would love to do it. I would love to talk to people because that is one point where you feel that nobody can help you. I want to tell them to hold on as you are bigger than your problems," she told Hindustan Times.

Shama Sikander, 34, was last seen in a bold short film titled Sexaholic.